by Former Congresswoman’s Specter Won’t Stop Talking About Principles
In what political observers are describing as “the most inconvenient haunting since Marley showed up at Scrooge’s Christmas party,” the Ghost of Liz Cheney’s Political Integrity has been appearing to Republican lawmakers at the most awkward possible moments, reminding them about constitutional principles, oath-keeping, and other outdated concepts they’d prefer to forget. The spectral manifestation reportedly appears in mirrors, conference room windows, and occasionally on Fox News, where it makes everyone uncomfortable by discussing things like “truth” and “accountability.”
The haunting began shortly after Cheney’s political exile from the Republican Party for the unforgivable sin of suggesting that attempting to overturn elections might be bad. Since then, her ghost has been spotted lurking around the Capitol, materializing during votes where Republicans are asked to choose between political expediency and constitutional duty, which is to say, pretty much constantly. “She just appears and starts talking about the rule of law,” complained one terrified congressman. “It’s very unsettling. We have an agenda to maintain.”
Witnesses describe the ghost as wearing Cheney’s characteristic professional attire, carrying a copy of the Constitution that glows with an otherworldly light, and maintaining the same disappointed facial expression she perfected during her time on the January 6th Committee. The specter reportedly doesn’t say much, but its mere presence seems to trigger guilty consciences and uncomfortable memories of times when the Republican Party pretended to care about things like institutional norms.
According to sources familiar with the haunting, the ghost has appeared to several high-profile Republicans, materializing at campaign events to whisper about historical precedents and democratic institutions. “I was giving a speech about election integrity,” reported one senator who requested anonymity, “and suddenly she was there, in the back row, just… staring. With that look that says ‘you know this is nonsense.’ Very distracting. Ruined my whole narrative about voter fraud.”
Political analysts note that Cheney’s transformation from Republican rising star to party pariah represents a broader tension within the GOP about the party’s direction and values. “She committed the cardinal sin of modern politics,” explained one strategist. “She chose principles over party loyalty. Now her ghost won’t let anyone forget that this used to be an option.”
The Republican National Committee has reportedly attempted several exorcisms, none successful. They’ve tried bringing in priests, political consultants who specialize in “narrative management,” and at one point, a Fox News host who attempted to debate the ghost into submission. The ghost apparently won the debate by citing the Constitution, which the host had not read and was therefore unfamiliar with.
Democrats have found the haunting hilarious, with several representatives reporting that they’ve taken to visiting haunted areas of the Capitol just to watch Republican colleagues become visibly nervous. “It’s entertainment,” admitted one Democratic staffer. “Watching them squirm when confronted with their own stated principles? You can’t put a price on that. Actually, C-SPAN probably could, but it would be high.”
The ghost’s most dramatic appearance occurred during a Republican conference meeting where members were discussing how to spin their opposition to certifying election results. According to multiple witnesses, Cheney’s specter materialized at the head of the table, slowly shook her head in disappointment, and then vanished while leaving behind the faint smell of burning constitutional norms. Several attendees required medical attention for what doctors described as “acute conscience inflammation.”
Constitutional scholars have weighed in on the phenomenon, noting that ghosts representing political integrity are increasingly rare in modern American politics. “We used to see them all the time,” explained one historian. “But the past few years have been brutal. Most political integrity ghosts have simply given up and retired to haunt more receptive venues, like abandoned shopping malls or ethics classes that nobody attends.”
Cheney herself has not commented on reports of her ghostly doppelganger, though sources close to the former congresswoman suggest she finds the whole thing amusing. “If my political career had to die,” she allegedly said, “at least its ghost is making them uncomfortable. That’s something.”
The haunting has inspired broader discussions about the state of the Republican Party and whether traditional conservative principles still have a place in modern GOP politics. Some argue that Cheney represents a dying breed of principled conservatives, while others insist she was simply a RINO (Republican In Name Only) who got what she deserved. The ghost has not weighed in on this debate, presumably because it’s too busy haunting people to engage in political taxonomy.
Republican leadership has issued a memo instructing members to ignore any supernatural manifestations related to constitutional principles or institutional integrity, describing them as “distractions from our core mission of winning elections and owning the libs.” The memo also suggests that members avoid mirrors, reflective surfaces, and any situation where they might be forced to confront their own stated values.
As the haunting continues, political observers wonder if Cheney’s ghost represents the last remnants of pre-Trump Republicanism or merely an annoying reminder of what the party used to pretend to care about. Either way, Republicans report that they’d very much like the ghost to go away and let them get back to the important work of abandoning their principles in peace.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/liz-cheney%c2%92s-ghost-of-integrity-past/
SOURCE: Bohiney.com (Liz Cheney’s Ghost of Integrity Past Haunts Republicans)
