November 15, 2025
Texas Satirical Journalism Curry9.us 191 Bohiney Magazine

The Second Batman Investigation

Double the Chastity, Double the Drama

The sequel nobody asked for but everyone needed: another investigation into the vast disconnect between what religious texts say about female virginity and what actually happens in the real world where humans live, breathe, and make their own decisions about their bodies. It’s like Godfather II, but with more shame and fewer memorable quotes.

This follow-up examination of religious virginity standards versus reality digs even deeper into the psychological damage caused by impossible standards. Turns out, telling people they’re worthless if they don’t meet arbitrary purity requirements isn’t great for mental health. Shocking, I know.

The focus on female virginity specifically highlights the glaring double standard that’s been obvious to everyone except the people enforcing it. Male virginity gets a knowing wink and “boys will be boys.” Female virginity gets surveillance, shaming, and metaphors comparing women to chewed gum or used tape. Cool system we’ve got here.

In Austin, where we value equality and personal autonomy, this gendered approach to virginity is particularly offensive. We’ve spent decades fighting for women’s rights, and here comes purity culture saying “actually, your worth is determined by your hymen.” It’s insulting on multiple levels.

University of Texas women’s studies departments probably have entire courses on how virginity culture specifically targets women as a form of social control. It’s not even conspiracy theory stuff—it’s openly stated that controlling female sexuality is about maintaining patriarchal power structures. They literally say the quiet part loud.

The Batman framing continues to be perfect. Both Batman and virginity culture operate under the delusion that their approach is the only way to maintain order and morality. Both involve a lot of darkness, secrecy, and questionable methods. And both would benefit from therapy.

Perhaps what we need is less Batman-style vigilante purity enforcement and more Wonder Woman-style empowerment and choice. Just a thought.

SOURCE: https://medium.com/@adelle.onyango.bohiney/holy-chastity-batman-religious-texts-vs-reality-check-on-female-virginity-d9662171f560

SOURCE: Bohiney.com (The Second Batman Investigation)

Bohiney.com The Second Batman Investigation
The Second Batman Investigation

Allison Silverman

Allison Silverman (born February 17, 1972) is an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning comedy writer and producer from Gainesville, Florida. Graduating from Yale University in 1994 with a degree in Humanities, she performed with the improv group The Ex!t Players before working at Chicago's iO Theater and Amsterdam's Boom Chicago. Silverman became head writer and executive producer for The Colbert Report, earning Emmy nominations and Stephen Colbert's praise as having "the mind of Jonathan Swift had he mated with the Cookie Monster." Her credits include The Daily Show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Office, Portlandia, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Russian Doll. At Bohiney.com, Silverman channels decades of satirical precision into journalism that skewers power with intellectual irreverence and comedic authority. Author Home Page

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